Product Description
Product Description "Better to live dreaming that dream of living""Sometimes you need sit in the wrong place to see the right view".What if you listened to that voice in your head telling you to walk out of your job? What if you listened to that first voice and another voice was telling you to go and live in a park? What if you listened to both voices and ended up one night sitting on a park bench, now unemployed, with two bags at your feet in the middle of a park and no idea what you are doing?Well, that's what I did. This is the story of the story I made up whilst trying to keep my sanity alone in a park. There is the park-keeper (of course) but he's a midget with anger control issues. Then there's Moonface, the fat disabled man that lives up trees and refuses to come down because he believes the floor will bite him. The floor won't, he just has broken ankles from escaping from hospital. There's Madness the Parrot, who everyone needs to catch for their own reasons, an animal killer called Dor! angel Vargas and Matt the carer of Moonface who seems reasonable but gave me "the lying fat bastard unicorn" look and so these days I can't say I fully trust him.There's PC Whirled the police officer with the unfortunate name that I can't really make fun out of because my name is Colossus Sosloss. And this is my story. Written by Craig Stone, a guy that wasn't homeless that made himself so, and invented me to escape a pretty terrible reality. Here are some passages from the book:"I sit down and smile as I am served my green tea. Usually they ask how I am, but today they do not. The girl serving me nods and smiles and I return the gesture in kind. She is attractive with short blonde hair in a side parting. I was going to ask her out once but instead I surprised both of us by ordering a strawberry tart. It was the first time I had ever ordered one"."I should have listened to my family and friends. This is a terribly bad idea of insurmountable comparison. Okay, so I had a job ! I didn’t like, doesn’t everyone? And I had no girl! friend; big whoop it’s a city and in the purge of morality is the absence of meaning. And my job was degrading to my intelligence well that is what defines a job. I can’t quit the park now because nobody can step off the bottom rung.I followed through in these trousers all I can do now is wear them". "Jerome Sosloss has a wide face with slightly red features and an unnatural dent in his forehead like a hot air balloon floating over an erupting volcano carrying a goat with a broken leg in its basket. He wears spectacles that fall from his too short nose every thirty seconds and when he pushes them back onto his too short nose his throat makes an involuntary squeal that sounds like the broken wheel of a hospital bed being pushed down a haunted corridor by an ageing pig with a lifelong nicotine habit". "He wears a black suit jacket that is too small for him and covered in stains. Straw sticks out of his sleeves. He carries a blue bag that I am certain contains only strong a! lcohol. He looks like he was buried weeks ago but has since eaten his way out of his coffin and taken a part-time job as a scarecrow. That drinks on the job. I will call him Worzel Bummidge. He smells like he never watched cartoons as a kid.""If I had been the first man on the moon my first words would have been “OH MY GOD! THEY’RE HERE! WHAT ARE THEY??! OH. NO. WE SHOULDN’T HAVE COME, WE SHOULDN’T HAVE COME. WE HAVE ANGERED HIM! HE IS COMING TO EARTH FOR YOUR SOULS!” before screaming loudly and cutting to static. Plenty of people have set foot on the moon, but nobody has played a joke on the entire planet". Enjoy and thank-you.Craig Stone.Product Details
- Amazon Sales Rank: #17394 in eBooks
- Published on: 2011-08-28
- Released on: 2011-08-28
- Format: Kindle eBook
- Number of items: 1
